When the good Lord was creating mothers He was into His 6th. day of
"overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of
fiddling around with this one." And the Lord said, "Have you read the
specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic;
Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable; Run on black coffee and
leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can
cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; And six
pairs of hands." The angel shook his head slowly and said, Six pair of
"It's not the hands that are causing me problems, "said the Lord. "It's the
three pair of eyes that mothers have to have." "That's on the standard
model?" asked the angel. The Lord nodded, "One pair that sees through
closed doors when she asks, "What are you doing in there?" when she already
knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't,
but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can
look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I understand, and I love you,
without so much as uttering a word."
"Lord", said the angel, tugging His sleeve gently, "Come to bed.
"I can't," said the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so close to
myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a
family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a 9 yr. old to stand
under the shower."
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It"s too soft, he
replied. "But tough !" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what
this mother can do or endure."
"Can it think?"
"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran his finger across the cheek. "there's
a leak", he pronounced. "I told You......, You were trying to put too much
into this model."
"It's not a leak, "said the Lord, "it's a TEAR."
"What's it for?"
"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."
"You are a genius," said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. "I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE. "
written by, and dedicated in rememberance to.......ERMA BOMBECK.
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